Challenges

There’s a lot of things on my mind tonight. My friends know that I’ve had a lot of challenges to deal with over the past several months. Some of those challenges involved taking a leap of faith, firmly believing that a new adventure would improve the lives of individual people. Then I had to face the reality of that idealism collapsing. Do I regret that? No. Can I go into details? (Reads over the NDA again) No. (spoiler alert: that nightmare is nearly over).

I’ve had to answer the questions: what have you been doing for the past few months? I rested. I got angry. I climbed some stuff. I lifted more, ran more, challenged myself more. This has been a rough time but I promised that I’d stay true to myself.

Duh.

Actually that’s kind of stupid because that’s how I’m wired. “…stay true to myself”… snrrrk, anybody who knows me knows that anything else is unthinkable.

So what have I been doing in the meantime? I read. I did a ton of soul searching and learned some things. I took a class. I got even more exercise than when I worked for the Well Known Fitness Brand. I toughened up some. I loved more deeply. I hiked a lot. I got better at portrait photography. I did some more freelance photography. I got paid to go to a music festival. I finally did that yard work I had been unable to get to. And I completely ignored the complete disaster that is my desk and studio.

No, really. “Clean desk” has been on my To-Do list for the past 4 years. I even have a book about removing clutter… under a pile of clutter on my desk. That’s how much I hated the idea of cleaning up my desk. I have a couple of weeks, I may still get there. I’ll share a picture if it really gets done. Update 5/31/2019: I cleaned my desk. I can see the desktop surface. It’s terrifying.

I caught the sunset at Taft Point with my daughter B last night. I couldn’t possibly have asked for more. #yosemite #taftpoint #sunset #2018 #canon5dmkiii #neverstopexploring #thisiswhyfitness

I spent some more time in Yosemite. I shared a special spot there with my beloved daughter. I climbed up a snowy non-trail with a buddy. I did a ton of day hikes with friends around the Big Sur and the Santa Cruz Mountains.

I also trusted. I trusted my wife Lisa to hang in there with me. She did in her grand and spectacular way. I trusted my savings to hold out. I trusted my closest allies to advocate for me when times were tough. All that came through and I will never, ever let them down. And they know it.

I also forgave.

That’s part of being The Grownup In The Room. Not everybody was that steadfast friend. What now? Forgive and move on. Trust? No, that needs to be earned back. Retaliate? That’s a stupid question; of course not. Move forward a little wiser? Yes.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for coming back.

Author: Sean McLean

Photographer from Santa Cruz, California. Sharing thoughts and photographs.

3 thoughts on “Challenges”

  1. I love reading this. Learning, growing and moving on isn’t easy no matter what the reasons. Thank you for being positive through the process and sharing with us.

    1. Thank you for reading it and for your comment Lauri. I didn’t plan on writing any of this. Honestly I was just poking around my collection of Yosemite photographs for anything that didn’t have rocks and water as the main subject. Then words just started.

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